What is The Rule?
The Rule — Office of Custos: Counsels and Directives for Husbands and Fathers outlines seven sections that constitute the spirituality of the Custos, and 88 specific counsels, rules, and directives that aid men in living this essential and transformational way of life. These seven sections constitute a rule for Catholic masculine spirituality with precision and clarity, helping a man discern when God is operative in his mission and when the evil spirits are at hand, and the actions to take to be triumphant in the spiritual battle.
Each week a counsel/directive from our soon to be published book, The Rule, will be posted.
December 18, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 15: Concerning the Evil Spirit’s Intention to Deter the Custos from Blessing His Wife
Let the Custos be aware that as God wills him to bless his wife, in a contrary manner, the evil spirits will...... READ MORE
August 28, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 14: Regarding the Custos’ Sacred Duty to Bless His Wife
Let the Custos understand that God has granted him the authority to bless his wife...... READ MORE
August 14, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 13: Regarding the Custos’ Sacred Duty to Foster His Wife’s Sanctification
Let the husband understand that he is responsible for fostering his wife’s sanctification, for the scripture says, ...... READ MORE
July 23, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 12: The Two Demonic Tactics Against the Custos’ Headship
Let the Custos be aware that the evil spirits will make every attempt to convince him to maintain the upper hand in regard to power and authority, convincing him...... READ MORE
July 3, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 11: Regarding the Custos’ Sacred Duty to Deliver Himself Up for His Wife
Let the Custos understand that he is to deliver himself up for his wife as Christ has delivered Himself up for the Church. The Greek word for deliver...... READ MORE
June 11, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 10: Concerning the Three Sacred Duties of a Husband
According to the holy apostle, the husband has three primary spiritual duties in relationship to his wife: first...... READ MORE
June 5, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 9: Concerning the Need for the Custos to Love Himself that He May also Love His Wife
In a contrary manner, the evil spirits are always bent on disrupting and undermining the Custos’ trust in God the Father. Without trusting that God the Father loves the man as His own son, the man will eventually lack love for himself...... READ MORE
May 14, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 8: Regarding the Custos Incapacity to Fulfill the Law of Love Without Christ
A husband is to embraLet the husband be aware that of his own power and will, he is incapable of loving his wife as Christ loves the Church...... READ MORE
May 8, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 7: Concerning the Manner by Which the Custos is to Embrace His Wife
A husband is to embrace his wife in the manner that St. Paul outlines in the fifth chapter of his letter to the Ephesians. Thrice the holy apostle exhorts the husband to “love.” ... READ MORE
April 24, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 6: Regarding the Temptation to Flee from One’s Wife
By divorcing himself from his wife, the Custos severs his relationship with his wife primarily, but also separates himself from, if not lays siege to...... READ MORE
April 9, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 5: Concerning the Two Methods the Evil Spirits will Use Against the Custos Indebtedness to His Wife
...let the Custos be aware that the evil spirits will tempt him regarding this truth in two primary ways...... READ MORE
April 2, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 4: Concerning the Means Through Which the Custos Receives His Vocation
...Therefore, the Custos not only is indebted to God, but also to his wife; thus let him thank both for his noble calling...... READ MORE
March 26, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 3: Regarding the Two Primary Temptations Against the Custos’ Queen
Regarding the honor and respect due to his queen, let the Custos be aware that the evil spirits will tempt him in one of two primary ways: abdication or domination...... READ MORE
March 18, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 2: Regarding the Exaltation of the Custos’ Wife as Queen of His Domestic Church
Let the Custos understand that he is to honor his wife as his queen, striving always to become more aware of her interior beauty, her dignity, her holiness, and to foster her progress toward union with God...... READ MORE
March 5, 2025
Section 4 | Rule 1: The Custos’ Marriage is Analogous to Christ’s Relationship with His Church
...if his disposition toward his wife is one of contempt, resent, utility, neglect, or indifference, he is becoming an anti-sacrament of Christ and is allowing himself to be used as a tool of the devil...... READ MORE
February 14, 2025
Section 3 | Rule #9: Concerning the Custos’ Spirit of the Beloved
Though the Custos is to have God’s warrior spirit, he can become hardened, fatigued, and desensitized from the hardship and sufferings caused by the spiritual battle. Accompanying signs of demonic weariness are...... READ MORE
January 24, 2025
Section 3 | Rule #6: Signs that the Evil Spirits are Conditioning the Custos to be a Hireling
...If he succumbs to any of these distractions in a habitual manner–without repenting–he will become a hireling who upon encountering hardship in his marriage and family, financial difficulties, or the realization of the lack of worldly success in all of its forms, will flee from... ... READ MORE
January 15, 2025
Section 3 | Rule #5: Concerning the Custos’ Post Between the Family and the World
In a similar way, the Custos is appointed by God to subdue the world, reaping its good fruits for his family, while also protecting his family from being subdued by the world, the flesh, and the devil. ... READ MORE
October 8, 2024
Section 3 | Rule #4: Regarding the Signs of Divine or Demonic Influence
Therefore, the evil spirits wage a relentless, ongoing war against the human representation of the Trinity, the family, for the purpose of attacking the heart of God...... READ MORE
August 21, 2024
Section 3 | Rule #3: Regarding the Custos’ Three Modes of Dominion
Contained in the action of God granting Adam dominion (Hebrew: radah, to prevail against) over the garden; commanding him to till (Hebrew: abad, to cherish) and keep (Hebrew: shamar, to protect) it;...... READ MORE
August 7, 2024
Section 3 | Rule #2: Regarding the Demonic Attack Against the Custos’ Office of Headship and Spiritual Authority
"... through the mediums of the world, and at times his wife, and at times those representing the Church, in the name of religion, politics, and equality will assault and malign the Custos’ divinely appointed office of spiritual headship."... READ MORE
August 6, 2024
Section 3 | Rule #1: Regarding the Custos’ Office of Headship and Spiritual Authority
"...as the divine directives given by the angel of God to the Holy Family were disclosed to St. Joseph, so also, in the same way, God confirms the man in his vocation as husband and father as having spiritual headship and authority over his family, the domestic church."... READ MORE
June 20, 2024
Section 2 | Rule #5: Regarding the Signs of Demonic Opposition
As God’s Spirit is evident in patience, perseverance, hope, and courage, in a contrary manner the evil spirits instill doubt and discouragement, attempting to convince...... READ MORE
June 13, 2024
Section 2 | Rule #4: Regarding the Signs of the Divine Assistance
Let the Custos be aware that God never instills a spirit of pusillanimity or doubt that the Custos can persevere in his noble vocation. On the contrary, the Spirit of God always grants hope which affords...... READ MORE
May 8, 2024
Section 2 | Rule #3: Regarding the Evil Spirit’s Determination to Drive the Custos from His Vocational Path
As God, by means of the analogy of fatherhood and the analogy of the bridegroom, always encourages man to remain in his calling, as the holy apostle commands, “Let every man abide in the same calling in which he was called” (1 Cor 7:20); so also in a contrary manner, the evil spirits...... READ MORE
April 8, 2024
Section 2 | Rule #2: Regarding the Analogous Nature of the Custos’ Vocation
Let the Custos understand and interpret the relationships, daily responsibilities, obligations, services, trials–in a word, all that constitutes his vocational role and responsibility–as the analogy of the bridegroom and the analogy of fatherhood. As a theatrical drama, or a fictional novel, often expresses an analogy to cement a proposed theory or concept in a person’s mind in a memorable way, so God uses a man’s vocation as husband and father to...... READ MORE
March 26, 2024
Section 2 | Rule #1: The Irrevocable Nature of the Custos’ Vocation
Let the Custos be aware that by sacramentally vowing himself in lifelong fidelity to his wife, and by swearing before God to receive and raise children to God, he has irrevocably embraced his vocation as a husband and father as his primary path to holiness, glory, and union with God; therefore he must not look for another primary path.... READ MORE
March 18, 2024
Section 1 | Rule #4: Regarding the Temptation of Seeking Human Glory
Let the Custos be aware that the evil spirits are bent on conditioning him to seek honors, validation, glory, and affirmation from men. For if the Custos seeks the glory of men he becomes incapable of glorifying God, for he is determined to glorify himself. If the Custos is determined to please men, he becomes incapable of pleasing God. As the holy apostle warns, ... READ MORE
March 18, 2024
Section 1 | Rule #3: The Nature of Tests and the Intentions of the Evil Spirits During Such Trials
Let the Custos be aware that when encountering tests, trials, tribulations, sufferings and setbacks, the evil spirits will gravely tempt him to doubt the goodness of the fatherhood of God; to believe that God is distant; that God is the cause of his sufferings; that God is his enemy; and that God the Father is not trustworthy. Doubt in God is the greatest insult against His divine benevolence and therefore the evil spirits ... READ MORE
March 18, 2024
Section 1 | Rule #2: Concerning the Source of the Power to Empty Oneself in Service to Others
Let the Custos understand that only the son who trusts that God is his loving Father, and that God the Father’s love is all-sufficient, becomes capable of emptying himself of vain ambitions, seeking human honor, clinging to status and human glory, while also becoming a servant to others, obediently embracing the Cross of Jesus Christ. The holy apostle says, ... READ MORE
February 9, 2024
Section 1 | Rule #1: Regarding the Foundation of the Custos’ Life and Mission
Let the Custos understand that his entire vocation, and in fact his entire life, and his very salvation depend upon him believing, receiving, embracing and trusting that God is his Father, and that he is God’s son in the Son of God; that God has chosen him for His own; that God loves him for who he is and not for what he has done or will do; and that God wills to perfect him in ... READ MORE