The Most Important Thing that Men Need: Order

The things in my life that I find to be most disordered are drawers, closets, cabinets, my wife’s purse, my tool bag, my computer filing system.

A friend of mine asked his wife where a tool was.
She responded, “in the crap drawer.”
To which he thought, “which one?”

If you are a drawer, a tool bag, a garage, how ordered are you?
Do you appear to have it together on the outside, but inside lurks chaos, disorder and a lack of peace?

Establishing order in one’s life is the most overlooked, but essential, God-given duty of every man, and is the very foundation of a virtuous, sanctified, accomplished life.

The enemy will attempt to convince you to believe two primary lies regarding order:

1. You have no real power, no real control.
Your life, your world is a river than runs wild.
God has left you unshielded; He has abandoned you to the elements of life and the cosmos. (This removes fortitude).
When a man despairs of having power, he fears having little to no control and having little control he gives up hope…He surrenders the fight for a well-ordered life.

2. You can control everything—even and most especially, your destiny.
You can squash unpredictability.
You can build one dam after another and channel the wild torrent as you wish.
You are god. (This instills mania).
You fight the petty things—losing sight of the real battle.
When inconvenience and interruption occur, rather than responding cooly and charitably, you tighten your grip and proceed in domination mode.

In the realm of having an ordered life, man lives in the tension between two polarized extremes:

Deficiency, sloth:

As he evaluates the multitude of responsibilities, and the nearly infinite factors that influence his life he becomes intimidated by the demand to establish order.
If he should attempt to establish order, he may encounter significant defeats, which could cost him greatly.
To avoid the shame of failure he resorts to sloth, a lack of desire to do the good, or to live for Good himself.
He sponges off of life.
He dismisses the rules, the law, and by doing so, he renders himself incapable of giving to another.
For he cannot give the order that he does not possess.
In fact, he heaps his chaos and disorders upon others.
He believes that chaos is an unalterable condition.
He believes that peace is obtained by dismissing himself from the battle to establish order.

His “peace” is perpetual distress.

Excess – Control/Domination:
Compelled by the fear of the unpredictable, he over-controls, and micro-manages every aspect of his life, and perhaps others for whom he is responsible.
He manipulates, dominates, coerces, applies rigid rules and standards, enforcing his rule by suppression of anything that has the character of unpredictability.
He will sacrifice his relationship for his rules, rather than using rules to forge his relationships.
He believes that peace is derived from ultimate control.

His “peace” is anxiety.

As Aristotle and Aquinas point out: Virtue is in the middle.

What does this virtue of order look like?
We find a clue in the book of Genesis’ creation account:

“And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and rule over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air, and all living creatures that move upon the earth.” Gen 1:28

Notice that God gives man three duties: to fill the earth, subdue it, rule over it.

Subdue, kabash (Hebrew) Kah-VASH, to conquer or subjugate.
The Greek translation, hypotasso, means to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject.

Man is called to be like God, to arrange his life by segmenting the components that constitute his days, weeks, years, his life.
He sub-ordinates the elements of life; he gives them an order of importance by ranking them.

Fill, malé (Hebrew) (Mah-LAY), to be full, fulfill, complete; often associated with God’s provisions and blessing, fulfillment and promises.

In other words, man is to fill those elements of life that he has segmented, arranging them in hierarchal order of importance.
By doing so, those areas of his life become fruitful, powerful and creative.

Rule, Radah (Hebrew): to have dominion, to rule, to dominate, to prevail against.

Man must claim authority and responsibly over his life; prevail over his enemies, most especially, his disordered self.

“That man is rightly called a king who makes his own body an obedient subject and, by governing himself with suitable rigor, refuses to let his passions breed rebellion in his soul, for he exercises a kind of royal power over himself. And because he knows how to rule his own person as king, so too does he sit as its judge. He will not let himself be imprisoned by sin or thrown headlong into wickedness.” – St Ambrose

The 8 Areas of Order

A man’s life consists of eight areas in which he can and should establish order.

What I am about to propose is not for the worldly person, who measures success monetarily, or by power and popularity.

The worldly plan is futile.
Its reward is Hell.

This order is aimed at fulfilling the human person’s ultimate purpose.
Some define it as to be a saint, to be holy, heaven, communion and union with God, or to glorify God.

Regardless, these are the eight areas which aid man in establishing his rule.

Devotional: this is your daily worship that consists of a prayer schedule and showing up for those prayer times, that you may come to know and love God.

Sacrificial: This is your daily mortifications, abnegations and self-denials that help you become a super-human oblation to God.

Physical: This is your daily exercise, eating and rest routine.

Relational (Vocational): This consists of intentional acts of service for, affirmation of, and spending time with your family, and friends. Human relationships draw us into the eternal relationship of the Trinity.

Occupational: This is your daily work (your job) and your domestic work (projects and maintenance). To strive for excellence without being attached to your own excellence or idealized vision of it.

Intellectual: This is your daily reading or listening (or both) to sources that speak knowledge and wisdom (the lion’s share of this is spiritual reading).

Recreational: These are scheduled events/time(s) during the week wherein you relax, have fun, such as social engagements, hobbies, a movie, a bourbon with a friend.

Sacramental / Moral: This is your conscience’s North Star: to do the good, the right, even if it costs you. From this, man derives the greatest peace and inner freedom. This begins with and is continually fortified by frequenting the sacraments: particularly the Eucharist and Confession.

Imagine that you are a closet with eight built-in cupboards.
You subdue yourself by establishing, arranging and identifying these eight areas.
Then you fill each of these eight areas with practices that will help you establish order.
These practices are where the fullness, the completeness, and the fruitfulness occur.

For example:

In the area “Devotional” you identify your daily prayer routine, your morning prayer routine and begin to fulfil that routine. In the area “Relational/Vocational” you give your wife one act of affirmation/encouragement daily…set that practice in motion.

Is your wall of cabinets well ordered?
Which cupboards are a mess?
Which are empty of practices that make life full and abundant?

By segmenting your life into these eight areas; filling them with spiritual practices; and striving daily to fulfill them; God blesses your life with order. He establishes your rule and fills you with His peace and joy.

Does this mean that the chaos will cease to exist?
No.

The man of order does not think he can vanquish chaos.
However, the well-ordered man knows that when his house is in order, chaos cannot cause it to crumble.

The ocean, a symbol of chaos, God confines by the borders of land.
Yet, the ocean is constantly fighting against and attempting to reshape the coastline.
Yet, the land remains.

The chaotic waters of life will constantly encroach upon the shoreline of our souls.

Yet, if we have an established order of charity and have segmented our life into these eight essential areas, and have identified practices in those eight areas, like water that rolls off of a duck’s back, the chaos hits the exterior of our home, that is our soul and runs off.

After a severe storm, we may have to repair a roof, or siding…but the house of order is already established; and therefore, much easier to repair and reset.

External chaos becomes internalized when there lacks interior order; yet external chaos cannot crush internal order.

“Teach us to order our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
“Bless the work of our hands O Lord, bless the work of our hands” Psalm 90:17.

God wants to establish your rule, by you establishing order.