4 Questions to Ask Your Wife—Marriage Changer

4 Questions to Ask Your Wife—Marriage Changer

I recently asked a prominent Catholic woman if she could offer advice to men who want a better marriage.
She said:

“A woman becomes confident, alive, and giving, both vocationally and intimately when she “knows” and “feels” loved by her husband.”

She must know it.
Which means that she must believe it.
Which means she must be convinced of it.
Which means she must feel it and experience it.
This means that her husband must show her.

A husband cannot excuse himself by thinking, “I’m not affectionate, or romantic,” or “she knows that I love her.”
He must have the mindset, “Love is an action. I have to show it.”
A good place for a husband to begin is not to assume that he knows how his wife wants and needs to be loved.

Ask her these four questions:

Do you know that I love you?

Do you feel it?

Is there anything that causes you to feel insecure about my love?

What can I do that will help you to be confident in, and certain of my love?

But be prepared for her response.
Don’t react. Just listen.

Listen to her, and you will learn about her.
Don’t blame her or attempt to justify yourself.

After you have listened to her, mull it over and pray over it.
Ask God if there is any truth to what she said (there always is).

Sleep on it.

Follow up with questions to gain further clarification.
This demonstrates to her that you care; that she is important to you…
And that you are willing to do what it takes to love her in the way she needs to be loved.

Then make a plan to love her.
Do not tell her your plan.
Finally, work that plan—daily.

Remember, love is an action.