The Measure of a Man: How He Relates to Woman

It has been said that no woman can teach a man how to become a man—only a man can do that.
As true as this may be, woman is indispensable in helping the boy become a man.

Indeed, a woman cannot teach a boy how to become a true man, but rather, she affords him the opportunity to become one.

In a certain sense, every man needs the woman—the bride—to become a great man and secure his salvation; and every woman needs man—the representative of the eternal bridegroom—to help her experience her feminine dignity and love of God.

From the moment that God created Eve and onward throughout the history of mankind, man has been measured by how he lives in relationship to woman and the child she bears.
Which is the second pillar of St. Joseph’s spirituality: embracing woman.

Men and woman, though made of the same “stuff’’—body and soul—are unique in their essence.

A man’s body indicates that he is different from the woman, and this sexual difference communicates a message that reveals who he is, that is, his identity, and who he is for her—his mission.
Your body indicates that you are called to go forth from yourself, to initiate self-sacrificial, self-giving love.

Just as a man must penetrate a woman’s body in sexual intercourse, which can bear the fruit of physical life, so also his initiating self-giving love penetrates her soul with the seed of love, which brings forth the fruit of spiritual life.

Your essence—every man’s essence—as reflected in his body, is to set the pace of self-giving love.

The test of a true man is whether he lives from his essence and sets this pace.

Marriages make society better.

“Gallup wellbeing data from 2009 to 2023 find that married people are much more likely to be thriving in their wellbeing than adults who have never married, are divorced or are living with a domestic partner.”

But marriages and families fail and become divided when men fail to understand and live from their essence.

If you ever experience the temptation to flee from the woman who will help you become true man, call upon St. Joseph and imitate his example; after initially withdrawing from Mary, he took her into his home.
Taking Mary into his home, into his soul, was Joseph’s first step toward becoming a true man and father of greatness.

If you, like St. Joseph, embrace woman by setting the pace of self-giving love in your marriage, you will not only discover who you are, but also allow your wife to become who she has been created to be.
Your marriage will begin to image the marriage of Christ and His Church, enabling your family to experience in their humanity what God is in eternity—self-giving love.

Excerpt from LEAD: The Four Marks of Fatherly Greatness