Detaching From Problematic People

Have you been betrayed? Abused? Maligned? Cheated? 
Is there someone you don’t like, or who doesn’t like you?

Christ admonishes us: unless you forgive your enemy—from the heart—God the Father will not forgive you.

Forgiveness is conditional.

Forgiveness is granted to those who grant it.
Holy detachment is a prominent theme in the spiritual life.

We are, in the name of God, to detach ourselves from those things, situations, and people that hinder our spiritual progress.

Detachment is holy.

Well intentioned Christians confuse holy detachment with separatism:
the systematic removal of people from their lives who do not measure up to their standard of holiness or who have injured them. 

Notice that this type of detachment presupposes:

• It is acceptable to judge a person’s holiness or lack thereof.
• It is acceptable to deem someone as not measuring up to our standards.
• It is acceptable to separate oneself (ignore, reject, alienate) from these sinners.

A cursory look at the Gospels indicates that this is not what Jesus did.
This is what the self-righteous did.

Jesus condemns this.

Holy detachment is not the systematic removal of people who are disagreeable and unlikeable.

The condition of holy detachment is two-fold:

• You love the person you don’t like by determining how you can be a gift to them.
• You don’t expect anything in return from them.

When you are gift without expecting anything in return, you are free, you are detached.

This is holiness.

Devin Schadt | Executive Director of the Fathers of St. Joseph

Ite ad Joseph