Devin Schadt / March 23rd, 2026

The Way of a Man Series | #129

3083 words

Ephesians 5 Explained: Male Headship and a Wife’s Submission in Marriage

What this article is about:

A biblical explanation of Ephesians 5 and the meaning of male headship and a wife’s submission in Christian marriage.

What You Will Find in This Article

• The true meaning of Ephesians 5 and Christian marriage roles
• Why male headship must reflect Christ’s sacrificial love
• What biblical submission in marriage actually means
• The three ways husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church

Ephesians 5 Explained: Male Headship and a Wife’s Submission in Marriage

Few passages of Scripture generate as much debate as St. Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5.

Indeed, the apostle proclaims that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church.”

In modern discussions, the biblical ideas of male headship and a wife’s submission are often misunderstood, misrepresented, or reduced to a crude debate about power: Who has authority—the husband or the wife?

Such a reduction distorts the Christian vision of marriage.
When people ask what submission in marriage means, they often imagine domination, inequality, or the suppression of a woman’s dignity.
Yet the biblical teaching is far richer and more demanding.
If male headship is to be understood properly, it must reflect Christ’s own headship over His Bride, the Church.

Rather than dismissing the biblical and traditional doctrine of a husband’s headship, we must recover God’s vision of marriage.

This vision upholds that the husband’s authority is expressed through sacrificial love.

Additionally, the wife’s submission participates in the mutual self-gift that mirrors the union of Christ and His Church.

What Does Submission in Marriage Mean?

If male headship is to be true in character, it must reflect and participate in Christ’s headship.
>The divine Word lowered himself to the human level for the purpose of raising humanity, as His Body, to the divine level.
He accomplishes the elevation of His Bride to the divine level by loving the Church with relentless, self-giving, unconditional love.

Nevertheless, a husband, though not superior to his wife in nature and being, has been granted a unique and conditional primacy in his authority, which is at the service of elevating and upholding her beauty, dignity, and person.

Consequently, the husband must follow the example of Christ, who lowered himself.
Yet, whereas Christ’s condescension involved an emptying of His previous glory, a man lowers himself by emptying himself of selfishness and pride.

The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as a wife, mother, and companion give her the full right. . . . But it does forbid such abuse of freedom as would neglect the welfare of the family; it refuses, in this body which is the family, to allow the heart to be separated from the head, with great detriment to the body itself and even with risk of disaster. If the husband is the head of the domestic body, then the wife is its heart; and as the first hold the primacy of authority, so the second can and ought to claim the primacy of love.

— Casti Connubii, 10

Charitable Authority

The primacy of authority can be referred to as “charitable authority,” the divinely instituted authority that is animated by agape love.

Hence, a husband exercises for the purpose of fostering and cultivating sanctification and full spiritual growth in his wife and children.
He accomplishes this by means of his sanctification and self-donation, which is a participation in Christ’s sacrifice for His Church.

For example, this vision of charitable authority is expressed succinctly by St. Paul:

Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church. He is the savior of the body. . . . Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it.

— Ephesians 5:23, 25

Notably, the fifth chapter of Ephesians provides us with the most extensive proclamation of Christian marriage in its ideal formulation contained in Scripture.
Additionally, it also affords men a systematic outline for exercising charitable authority as a husband in the image of Christ.

[St. Paul presents] “the union of Christ with the Church…under the simile of marriage, of the conjugal union of husband and wife.” [In] this case, it is not merely a comparison in a metaphorical sense.” [The] “analogy of spousal or conjugal love helps to penetrate the very essence of the mystery.”[1]

Softening the Meaning of Headship

However, it should be noted that many modernists have been attempts to soften the idea of a husband’s headship.

They reference the verse that precedes St. Paul’s profound depiction of the vocation of marriage: “being subject one to another, in fear of Christ” (Eph 5:21).

Although these words apply to married couples, St. Paul was speaking in a universal sense to all Christians.

Moreover, after this verse, he proceeds to discuss what this subjection specifically looks like in the context of Christian marriage.

By upholding the reality of the mutual subjection of spouses to one another, one does not deny male headship.

However, to use mutual subjection as a way to dismiss the husband’s headship would be denying the very charitable authority that fosters true mutual subjection.

Hence, this mutual subjection of spouses is the essential component of a marriage that images the love of Christ and His Church.

As Pope St. John Paul points out, “To be subject to one’s spouse means to be ‘completely given.’”[2] In turn, mutual subjection means a “reciprocal donation of self [when] Christ is the source and at the same time the model that subjects [it] and confers on the conjugal union a profound and mature character.”[3]

Mutual Submission and A Husband’s Headship Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Considering this, mutual subjection and authentic male headship are not mutually exclusive, but rather are interdependent upon one another.
In fact, one cannot exist truly without the other.

Therefore, it is imperative that we interpret St. Paul’s passage on marriage through the lens of mutual submission.
However, we must do so while upholding the essential nature and role of male headship.

If we choose to deny Christian male headship, we negate mutual submission.
Why?
Because such submission is dependent upon proper male headship.

St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians proposes an outline of male headship, and how a man is to live it.

St. Paul’s Outline of Male Headship: What Does Husband’s Love Your Wives Mean?

The headship of a husband is depicted by St. Paul in a systematic, crafted prose.

To understand the husband’s responsibilities, it is important to also understand how St. Paul “packages” these demands within a singular idea.

Before St. Paul explains the husband’s duties, he begins with an exhortation to love: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loves the church, and delivered himself up for it” (Eph 5:25, emphasis added ). Then, in the midst of this passage—at the very heart and center—he exhorts the husband to love: “So also men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loves himself” (Eph 5:28, emphasis added ). Finally, he describes the husband’s responsibilities, and concludes with another exhortation to love: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself” (Eph 5:33, emphasis added ).

The word for love that is used in each of these three occasions is a form of the Greek word agape.

Agape refers to the highest form of love, or charity.

The term agape indicates the love of God for men and of men for God.

Hence, it is a universal and unconditional love that transcends and endures in all circumstances.

Therefore, in this sense, agape is distinct from philia, which indicates a brotherly love, or philautia, which is the love of self.

St. Paul purposely arranged this passage to express that a man’s marriage to his wife begins with love, exists with love, and loves to the end.

Morevoer, it is this love is the love that Christ has for His Church, whom He loved even when her members were sinners.[4]

3 Ways to Love A Husband Loves His Wife

If a husband is to exercise true charitable authority, his headship must be animated by the Christ’s loves for His Church.
As a result, this places the man in a challenging and precarious position.
He, by his own means, is incapable of loving his wife in the manner that Christ loved the Church.
Therefore, he must humble himself as a “bride” of Christ to receive God’s unconditional love that enables him to fulfill his noble call.
There is no other way.

Nevertheless, true love demands that a man lead his wife and children to completion in Christ.
Indeed, if he is not leading in this manner he is not loving as Christ.

St. Paul outlines three specific ways that a husband is to express agape to his wife as Christ loves His Church:

First, He delivered himself for her;
Second, He sanctified her; and
Third, he presented her to God.

Conversely, the spousal analogy, wherein a husband is an icon of Christ, is not a perfect representation of the man.

Indeed, no man is the perfect image of Christ.

Nevertheless, a husband who exercises charitable authority strives to participate in Christ’s headship in these three ways.

Deliver Yourself for Her

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it” (Eph 5:25).

The Greek word for deliver, paradōken, means to hand over, to give, or to deliver over.
This is the same word that our Lord uses to describe God the Father’s generosity:

“If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children: how much more will your Father who is in heaven, give (paradōken) good things to them that ask him?” (Mt 7:11).

We are to express this generosity to others as God does to us: “Give (paradōken) to him that asketh of thee” (Mt 5:42).

Furthermore, this generosity is not limited to giving things.
It also includes the sharing of one’s authority as Christ shared His authority with His disciples:

“And having called his twelve disciples together, he gave (paradōken) them power [authority] over unclean spirits” (Mt 10:1).

Sharing of Authority

Hence, it appears that St. Paul’s concept of a husband delivering himself to his wife is deeply rooted in the sharing of one’s talents, gifts, goods, love, and authority.

Furthermore, such generosity grants the woman a true participation in the man’s headship.

This sharing (paradōken) of the man’s authority “excludes every kind of subjection whereby a wife might become a servant or slave of the husband and an object of unilateral domination. Indeed, love makes the husband simultaneously subject to the wife and thereby to the Lord Himself, just as the wife to the husband.”[5]

However, we cannot simply state that this simultaneous mutual subjection occurs without a cause or initiating force.

The husband’s headship mandates that he continually and consistently deliver himself to his wife for the purpose of her completion in Christ.
Thus, mutual submission and a sharing of authority proceeds from the man.

Sanctify Her

“Christ [. . .] loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: that he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of the water in the word of Life” (Eph 5:25–26).

To be sanctified is to have the likeness of nature with the Lord.
This divine likeness is only imparted by God through the Holy Spirit.
Particularly through the Sacrament of Baptism and the continual participation in the sacraments.

Specifically, this sanctification, sets the person apart from the world, making the person, in a sense, sacred unto the Lord.

Considering this, we can see that no man can sanctify his wife per se.

Only God can accomplish this by the infusion and impartation of grace.

Nevertheless, the husband has an essential role to play in participating with Christ in making his wife holy unto the Lord.

Setting His Wife Apart From the World

Furthermore, the word sanctify (in Greek, hagios) means sacred, holy, or to be set apart by (or for) God.
Though a man cannot sanctify his wife per se, but he is responsible for fostering her sanctification.

First, by protecting her from being assimilated into the world;

Second, by protecting her from his own disordered desires, particularly to objectify her sexually, or to use her as his servant.

Third, by protecting her from the evil one, especially guarding her relationship with God, which includes her prayer life.

Recall that man’s theological location is to stand on the horizon between the external worldly forces and the domestic garden.

A husband understands his wife to be sacred, holy, and set apart from the world,.
By doing so, he will work tirelessly to aid her in the endeavor of protecting her feminine genius from being invaded, penetrated, or crushed under the weight of radical feminism and female rebellion.

Protection of His Wife

Consequently, woman, as life-bearer, perpetuator of human life and eternal souls, must be protected.

Specifically, she must be defended from a satanic culture that is bent on robbing her of her glorious vocation by removing her from the home and from her vocation of motherhood and being a wife.[6]

In addition to guarding her from the world, it is essential that the husband protect his wife from himself.
Particularly from any tendencies to objectify her, or use her to satisfy his disordered passions,.
Indeed, he must protect her from his disordered sexual passions.

Marriage never justifies lust.
Lust is loosely defined as using another for one’s gain, rather than sacrificing one’s selfish desires for the other.
Lust is not love.

St. Paul is clear that male headship, if authentic, is animated by love, which aims to overcome lust in all of its forms.

Guarding His Wife’s Devotional LIfe

Lastly, a husband is to ensure his wife’s sanctification by granting her the time and space needed for consistent adoration and worship of God.

Women are blessed with the gift of being highly relational.
However, such gifts can subject her to the constant demands of motherhood and the cares for her husband.
Consequently this can become the cause of her neglecting to attend to her prayers and devotions.
It is imperative that a husband protect his wife’s relationship with the Lord.
By guarding her communion with God, he is nourishing his communion with her.
For where the Lord is, there is love.

Finally, St. Paul associates the idea of sanctification with the cleansing bath of Baptism and the Word of life.[7]

A key aspect of using one’s charitable authority for the service of the wife’s sanctification is the fostering of a mutual sharing of the inspirations and instructions received from God.

The husband does not need to be a theologian, Bible-scholar, or an academic.

Charitable authority only demands that a husband be formed by the Word of God.
Consequently, he become capable of helping form others by the transmission of the Word received.

By doing this, he will become capable of transmitting God’s mercy, truth, and traditions of the faith, through his word, and, more importantly, by his example.

Present Her

Lastly, the husband is not responsible for himself alone.

The fact that the two are now one flesh indicates that the man not only presents himself to God in prayer and worship.
However, when presenting himself he must also present his wife and her intentions also.

Specifically, the word used for “present” contains the Greek word histémi.

Histemi means to make a stand, as to stand firm, to be steadfast, even in closeness.
Charitable authority is characterized by a husband remaining steadfast, alongside his wife.

Hence, he refuses to flee from his post.

Therefore, the man who is truly “head” is defined by remaining at his post regardless of adversarial challenges.

Adam, in silence, refrained from standing by Eve as her defense.

St. Joseph initially separated himself from the situation of the Virgin Mary’s pregnancy.
However, he returned to stand his ground as her protector.

Like father, like Son.
Our Lord Jesus refused to flee when Judas and the cohort entered the garden to apprehend Him.
Rather, He stood his ground and defended his Body of believers by laying down His very life.

The Wife is the Completion of the Husband

Therefore, remember your wife in your prayers as another self.
She isa completion of you, and present her to God—who dwells in both of you.
If you neglect to present her to God, your presentation of yourself to God is incomplete.

Ultimately, the headship of a husband is essential to ensuring that your wife is protected from the world.

Hence, you ensure that her dignity is fully appreciated, and that she is elevated to God in prayer.

This is a tremendous responsibility, but also a most noble calling.

Therefore, if your headship is animated by Christ’s headship, your marriage will become a living sign, to a world that hungers for true agape love.</span>

Ultimately, at the heart of the renewal of all things in Christ is a marriage that is a:

“great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband” (Eph 5:32–33).

Real Power of a Husband’s Headship

A warning to the man who believes that the debate regarding male headship is reduced to “Who has the power?”

It is imperative that you look often to the pattern by which Christ uses His power to sacrifice Himself for His Bride.

If you avoid following His example, you imprison yourself in a myopic, self-centered form of headship that ultimately negates authentic Christian self-giving love.

Real power, Christ’s power, is expressed in one way: self-sacrificial love.