Becoming the Custos: The Mark St. Joseph

Invocation: St. Joseph, teach me how to protect my family

But Joseph . . . was not willing publicly to expose her.” Mt 1:19

In the beginning, Adam was ordained with the mission to protect his sinless, virgin, wife, Eve.xix
Yet, he failed.xx
Where was Adam during that decisive moment of temptation, when the serpent pressed his doubts and allurements upon the soul of Eve?
In the sacred text we discover an answer: “And she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave it to her husband who did eat.”xxi

Adam was there, present next to Eve, a silent witness and accomplice to evil.
Adam allowed Eve to be exposed to the devil’s cunning wiles.

At the beginning of the New Testament, a sinless, virgin woman did not take the “forbidden fruit” from a tree, in hopes to be “like God,”xxii but rather she received God made flesh, the fruit of her womb, which eventually hung on a tree.

Joseph, a type of Adam, xxiii though uncertain of the origin of Mary’s pregnancy, could have exposed her secret to the scrutiny, judgment, and condemnation of the Nazarene villagers and synagogue priests.
Yet, Joseph does what the old Adam did not: he became the Custos, the guardian of woman.
St. Joseph refused to expose Mary to judgment. Joseph refused to condemn his wife due to the possibility of her innocence.
Within his spirit was a sliver of hope that a divine mystery was occurring in the Virgin’s womb, and therefore he was unwilling to expose the possibility of such a sacred mystery to incredulous, doubting men. xxiv

You, my brother, as a husband, will experience the perennial temptation to expose your wife’s shortfalls, failings, imperfections, intimacies, and internal mystery to others; to partake of her fruit and then expose her to the shame of men.

You, however, are to be like St. Joseph, a Custos, guardian, protector of your wife’s sacred mystery and God-given dignity.
This is the mark of a New Adam: he upholds the dignity of woman by protecting her from the devil.

Indeed, the evil one wants woman to expose herself for the purpose of obtaining disordered male gratification.
You are to shield your wife from this temptation by loving her not for what she looks like or what she can give you—but for who she is.

St. Joseph became the Custos, the guardian of Mary, and of Christ . . . And of you.
He wants you to clearly understand and know that he is your protector, your guardian, your guide, and your spiritual father.

His intercession gives us new hope and trust in God.
Even if you feel that you are not staying the course, return to St. Joseph and let him lead you.

Concluding Prayer

St. Joseph, you had the tremendous vocation of being the guardian of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary and the Son of God.
You were entrusted with God’s most precious treasures.
I, too, have been entrusted with the gift of my wife and children.
Teach me how to be a selfless protector of my family.
St. Joseph be my protector. Amen.

xviii Mt 6:33: “Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

xix See Genesis 2:15: “And the Lord God took man, and put him into the paradise for pleasure, to dress it, and keep it.” Adam was given the task to dress and keep the garden. The Hebrew word for dress, abad, means “to cherish”; and the Hebrew word for keep, shamar, means “to protect.” Adam was also warned that if he was to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, he would die. “But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat. For in what day soever thou shalt eat of it, thou shalt die the death” (Gen 2:17). From these observations we can conclude that Adam was aware that his duty was to protect the garden, and his wife, from death.

xx Gen 3:6: “And the woman saw that the tree was good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold: and she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave to her husband who did eat.”

xxi Ibid.

xxii CCC 398: “In that sin man preferred himself to God and by that very act scorned him. He chose himself over and against God, against the requirements of his creaturely status and therefore against his own good. Constituted in a state of holiness, man was destined to be fully “divinized” by God in glory. Seduced by the devil, he wanted to “be like God”, but “without God, before God, and not in accordance with God.”

xxiii St. Paul connects the original Adam with the New Adam, Jesus Christ. See 1 Cor 15:45: “The first man Adam was made into a living soul; the last Adam into a quickening spirit”; and also, “Wherefore as by one man sin entered into this world and by sin death: and so death passed upon all men, in whom all have sinned. For until the law sin was in the world: but sin was not imputed, when the law was not. But death reigned from Adam unto Moses, even over them also who have not sinned, after the similitude of the transgression of Adam, who is a figure of him who was to come. But not as the offence, so also the gift. For if by the offence of one, many died: much more the grace of God and the gift, by the grace of one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. And not as it was by one sin, so also is the gift. For judgment indeed was by one unto condemnation: but grace is of many offences unto justification. For if by one man’s offence death reigned through one; much more they who receive abundance of grace and of the gift and of justice shall reign in life through one, Jesus Christ. Therefore, as by the offence of one, unto all men to condemnation: so also, by the justice of one, unto all men to justification of life. For as by the disobedience of one man, many were made sinners: so also, by the obedience of one, many shall be made just. Now the law entered in that sin might abound. And where sin abounded, grace did more abound. That as sin hath reigned to death: so also, grace might reign by justice unto life everlasting, through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom 5:12–21).

xxiv “Why did Joseph want to leave his spouse, Mary? Listen not to my opinion, but to that of the Fathers. He thought to leave Her for the same reason why Peter kept the Lord at a distance, saying, ‘Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinner’ (Lk 5:8), or the Centurion did not want the Lord to come to his house, saying: ‘Lord, I am not worthy that you enter my house’ (Mt 8:8). Likewise, Joseph, retaining himself to be unworthy and sinful, went away saying that he would not be able to live with a woman who was so great, whose wonderful and superior dignity he feared. He saw and feared the woman who bore a certain sign of the divine presence; and since he was not able to penetrate the meaning of this mystery, he wanted to leave Her in a hidden way. Peter was fearful in the face of such power, the Centurion before the majesty of His presence. Also, Joseph, as a man, feared the newness of such a great miracle; he was afraid of the profoundness of such mystery; and decided to leave Her in a hidden way” (St. Bernard, Laudes Mariae 2, 13–16)