The Same Sin—Again!?!?!

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” —St. Paul the Apostle (2 Cor 12:7)

Often, we are quite unaware of a sinful attachment that, like mold, grows and metastasizes in the dark crevices of the soul.
This insidious cancer is difficult for us to identify because we have lived with it nearly our entire life, and our familiarity with it makes us blind to it.

God permits a “thorn” (a weakness, an addiction, or even a deplorable sin) to linger for the purpose of uprooting the deeper vice— the one that we cannot perceive, because the vice that we cannot perceive is our most insidious enemy.

God is not as concerned with us “being good” as He is with us obtaining the ultimate good.
We can appear to be good but lack the ultimate good.
Therefore, He often allows “a thorn” to help us understand that we are not good in ourselves, but need God, the ultimate good.
We need Him to shine His eternal, merciful light into the dark places of our soul, to help us discover those things that are keeping us from Him and, inversely, those things that will help unite us to Him.

We can sometimes hyper-focus on what we are doing–good or bad–and miss completely what God is doing in us. It is ironic that when we think that we are “doing good,” God may not be doing much in us.

When we feel strong, we can forget our weakness; and this moral amnesia, which is a lack of humility, deflects God’s grace.
God says: “My strength is made perfect in your weakness.”
When we forget to acknowledge our weakness, we neglect to depend upon His strength.

My previous home did not have a garage.
Iowa winters can be brutal.
Each winter morning, I was faced with the high probability of scraping my windshield.
Scrapers would snap; credit cards would bend.
Running late for an appointment, I’d scrape the bare minimum, attempting to see the road through a small clearing.

The days that the ice was thin or non-existent, I would thank God.
The days when it was thick, and I was running late, I would remember God, thanking Him for those days when the ice wasn’t as bad–and perhaps ask him for more days like that.

Now that I own a home with a garage, I am not as concerned about the weather or my windshield.
And honestly, the practice of thanking God for not having to scrape my windshield has faded.
Now that my windshield is ice-free, I should thank God every winter morning for this gift.

But I have forgotten to thank God, because I have forgotten the ice and the difficulty it caused.
Iowa winter weather combined with having no garage constituted a “thorn” that reminded me of my relationship with and dependence upon God.

But now that the thorn is absent, I’m not reminded as often of my dependence and need for God. When the thorn is removed, we often think of God less.

Sometimes a personal struggle exists for the purpose of deepening your relationship with God.

Whether your “thorn” is a physical limitation, a sexual temptation, financial hardship, difficulties with employment, negative thoughts, depression, anxiety, hormonal disorders, fatigue, compulsive shopping, feelings of guilt or scrupulosity, a haunting past, addiction to food, stretching the truth, a tendency toward envy or jealousy, the urge to speak ill about others, desiring to be the center of attention, being repulsed by human beings, an inability to lose those love handles, lack of patience, inability to persevere, inability to fast due to physical limitations, being seduced by internet ads, addiction to your smart phone, a string of broken relationships, chocolate, the inability to make real and lasting friendships, same sex attraction, judging and condemning others, fear of failure, lust, substance or alcohol abuse, a disordered desire to avoid conflict, overcoming self-importance, inability to perform sexually, deep seated pride, self-indulgence—whether you have a thorn or a thorn bush, God promises you that it is not arbitrary but has a divine purpose.

Your thorn exists so that you will learn to rely not on your limited self, but rather on our unlimited God.

Trust is the foundation of every true, lasting relationship.
A relationship without trust is unsustainable.
God permits the thorn to help you learn to trust Him; and in trusting Him, you become trustworthy.

Whatever your weakness is, God has allowed that weakness to remain in you so that you will learn to remain in him.

Perhaps, like St. Paul you’ve sought the Lord, begging for your thorn to depart from you–and yet, to this day, it remains.
God promises you that His power will be perfected–not in your strength to do good, but in your weakness.
Whatever your weakness is, regardless of the nature of your thorn, it exists to ensure that God’s power may dwell in you.

Devin Schadt | Executive Director of the Fathers of St. Joseph

Ite ad Joseph