Section 4 | Rule 7: Concerning the Manner by Which the Custos is to Embrace His Wife

A husband is to embrace his wife in the manner that St. Paul outlines in the fifth chapter of his letter to the Ephesians. Thrice the holy apostle exhorts the husband to “love.” At the beginning of the passage, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the Church, and delivered Himself up for her” (Eph 5:25); in the middle of the passage: “So also men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loves himself” (Eph 5:28); and at the end of the passage, “Nevertheless, let every one of you love his wife as himself” (Eph 5:33).

The word rendered “love” is the Greek word agape, which can be defined as a selfless, disinterested, pure, unconditional, sacrificial love–the love that God has for His children, the love that Christ has for His Church. Agape is the highest form of charity that transcends and endures all circumstances.

Let the Custos be aware that to fulfill the command to love one’s wife is the highest form of charity for it is to “love one another as I loved you” (Jn 15:13). Additionally, God created Eve to be Adam’s helpmate (Hebrew: ezer chenegdo), which can be translated as an essential counterpart, or another self, as the right hand is to the left.

Therefore, a husband is to reflect upon the attention and care that he gives to his own desires, initiatives and sufferings and then compare that attention to that which he gives to his wife. By doing so, he can determine if he is fulfilling this great command to love her in the way that he loves himself and thus fulfill the second part of the greatest command.

Devin Schadt | Executive Director of the Fathers of St. Joseph

Ite ad Joseph