St. Thomas’ 4 Ways to Overcome Lust (And 3 More)—The 7 F’s

In the Summa Theologiae (St. Thomas Aquinas masterfully outlines the viciousness of lust; its consequential effects (the daughters of lust); and his helpful recommendation to overcome this deadly sin.
Today, more than ever, we men need his counsel.

Below are Thomas’ four primary ways, and an additional three which will aid us greatly before lust strikes, while it is present, and after we have fallen prey to it.

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1. Flee

“Gaze not upon a maiden lest her beauty be a stumbling block.” (Sirach 9:6)

Fleeing is not a demonstration of weakness if there is high probability that you will fall prey to lust.

Joseph the patriarch fled from Potiphar’s wife when she attempted to seduce him. (See Genesis 39:12-18)
Joseph took the Child and His Mother and fled by night to Egypt.
St. Joseph understood that we are to flee rather than face certain enemies, lest we be overpowered.

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2. Fortify

“Do not give an opening to lustful thoughts.”

Identify the weak points in your armor, the cracks and holes in your defense wall.

We are to seal the cracks and fill the holes by means of a negative (defensive) and positive (offensive) approach.

Negative/Defensive:
Identify and remove certain movies/shows, video games, AI models, drinking alcohol, idle scrolling on your phone.
Any of these could be cracks in your defense.
Seal them up by cutting them out.

Positive /Offensive:

• Attend a daily Mass at least once a week. Receive the real man Jesus Christ into you so that you can become like Him in resisting temptation.
• Embrace all failings and humiliations without self-justification or blaming others or the situational dynamics.
  Often the demon of lust is prevalent because of a deeper vice such as pride or envy.
  By allowing oneself to be humiliated, God grants the virtue of humility and consequently the demons of lust often cease to haunt us.
• Frequent Sacramental Confession.
  By confessing your sins sacramentally, you not only humiliate yourself, surrender your sin, but also Christ fills your void with humility and grace (the strength to “go forth and sin no more”).
• The Blessed Virgin Mary. Pray to her often asking her to crush the serpent of lust.
  Consecrate your body to her.
  She will obtain purity for you.

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3. Fight

This is spiritual combat.
St. Thomas says that overcoming lust is like a fight between two persons.

You sustain the person you desire to win.
You withdraw support from the person you desire to lose.
You want your spirit to win and your flesh to lose.

Therefore, St. Thomas counsels that we are to fortify our spirit with prayer (daily)and resist the flesh by fasting.

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4. Fill Idle Time

St. Thomas says that “Idleness has taught much evil. Be always busy so that the devil not find you unoccupied.”
Many men who have ceased to watch television say, “I don’t know how I had time to watch that much TV. Now that I don’t watch it, I still barely have time to do all the things that need to be done.”
We have more than enough work, duties, responsibilities, hobbies and relational activities, spiritual endeavors to occupy ourselves.

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5. Fortitude

If you fall, do not stay down.
Do not pity yourself.
This is a false type of humility.

Get up immediately, rise and return to God.
He is merciful and will forgive you.
Only be sincere about your sinful regret (contrition).

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6. Friends

“Iron sharpens iron as one brother sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
Notice that this is not a “warm, fuzzy” relationship.
Iron beats against iron.
Iron is forged in fire.
Friendship with a brother to whom you can be accountable will be iron and fire that forges you in faith and fortitude.

This demands that you be very transparent regarding your battle with lust.

This could be a brother in Christ, a counselor, a therapist or a priestly confessor.

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7. Father-God

It is most probable that the perennial sin of lust is committed because men are subconsciously wanting to be respected.
The hope of a fine maiden admiring us is the deep longing to be respected.
However, a son longs for the respect of his father.
This fatherly respect alone suffices.
When a son of God, does not sense that he is chosen and desired by God the Father, he turns to carnal appetites and worldly promises to gain validation.

The key to becoming a real Christian, a real man of God, a holy man who is virtuous is the Imitatio Christi (Imitation of Christ).
Christ is united in love and fidelity to His Father.
He has an ineffable trust in God His Father and His goodness.

This trust wins all.
Spend time with Jesus, asking Him to show you how to love, trust and have an intimate relationship with Abba, God our Father.
This vanquishes the “Father of Lies.”

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Our Lord Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Indeed, without God nothing is possible—especially overcoming lustful habits and sexual addictions.
But the converse is also true: with God all things are possible, especially conquering lust and impurity.
Do not lose faith in God.
Perhaps this is the last ‘F’: faith.
Never become discouraged.
God is bigger than the demon of lust.
If you give Him your human effort by habitually applying all 7 F’s with faith that “God can do far more in you than you ever hope for or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20), you will soon become the free man in Christ.