St. Joseph Was Not Chaste

Recently someone commented on one of my videos “Why Men Really Need Women” saying:
“Joseph did not remain chaste. He fathered at least six children after Jesus was born.”

Below is my response:

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Chasity vs. Celibacy
There is a fundamental difference between chastity and celibacy. Chastity is purity regarding one’s sexual desires.
There is a positive and negative character to chastity.

Positive:
To love another person (particularly one’s spouse) without objectification.
To love the person for who they are, not what they give (particularly a sexual act), to love disinterestedly – that is without disordered self-interest.
To love the other for the sake of the other. Negative: to not lust.

Celibacy is to not have sexual intercourse.
Every good philosopher (and theologian) makes distinctions.

One can be chaste and not celibate.
One can be celibate and be unchaste (in his inner disposition).
St. Joseph was chaste and celibate.

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Joseph’s ‘Other’ Children are Mary’s ‘Other’ Children?

You said that St. Joseph had six other children besides Christ after Christ was born.
Perhaps you are referring to scriptural passages that mention Jesus’ “brothers” and “sisters.”
I agree that a cursory reading of these passages indicates that Jesus had biological siblings.

However, who was the mother of these siblings?

The Sacred Scripture indicates that Joseph was Mary’s only husband.
Therefore, Mary would be the mother of these supposed other six siblings.
Your statement is another way of saying that Mary is not a perpetual virgin.

Without quoting church father after church father, I offer two thoughts:

1. One of the ‘brothers’ to which the Scripture refers is James the apostle and brother of Our Lord Jesus (See Matthew 13:55; Mark 6:3, and Josephus – Jewish Antiquities).

However, the Scripture is clear that Mary of Cleophas is the mother of James and Joseph.
It was this Mary who went to the tomb of the resurrected Christ on Sunday morning with Mary Magdalene.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus is not the mother of James and Joseph.

2. Even if you are not Catholic and do not appeal to the early Church Fathers such as Augustine, Ambrose, Jerome -who all proclaimed Mary’s perpetual virginity; read what Martin Luther, the founder of Protestantism said:

“God has formed the soul and body of the Virgin Mary full of the Holy Spirit, so that she is without all sins, for she has conceived and born the Lord Jesus.”

“Christ our Savior was the real and natural fruit of Mary’s virginal womb…This was without the cooperation of man, and she remained a virgin after that…Christ was the only Son of Mary, and the Virgin Mary bore no children besides Him.”

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No Other Siblings Mentioned During Christ’s Childhood
Surely, these children of Joseph would have been mentioned within the context or scriptural passages referring to the Holy Family.
For example, the Scriptures do not mention another child of Mary, or another pregnancy while living in Bethlehem.
Or when Herod sought to kill the Christ child.
Or when God commanded Joseph to take the Mother and Child from Egypt and return to the Holy Land.
Surely within the span of those 5-7 years, another sibling would have been born, and mentioned.
Or when Jesus treks to the temple at 12 years of age…again, no mention of Mary carrying infants, or Joseph leading other children.

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The Early Church Fathers Believed St. Joseph to be a Virgin

St. Augustine:

“Because of this holy and virginal marriage with Christ’s mother, Joseph merited to be called the very father of Christ.”

“Just as this was a marriage without deordination, should not the husband have accepted virginally what the wife virginally brought forth? For just as she was virginally the wife, so was he virginally the husband; and just as she was virginally the mother, so was he virginally the father.”

“Let his greater purity confirm his fatherhood…We should count through Joseph, because as he was virginally the husband, so was he virginally the father…Did Mary conceive by an act of her flesh?… Why was Joseph [Christ’s] Father? Because of the certainty of his fatherhood is in proportion to his virginity.”

St. Jerome:
“You say that Mary did not remain a virgin. Even more do I claim that Joseph also was virginal through Mary in order that from a virginal marriage a virginal son might be born.”

St. John Chrysostom:
God gave St. Joseph, “All that which can belong to a father without damaging virginity.”

There are countless more like this.

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The Real Question:

What are we as men afraid of?
Are we afraid that Joseph could actually have been married, chaste and celibate?
Are we afraid to confess this truth because we struggle to embody his heroic virtue?

Perhaps we think Joseph’s chastity and virginity is impossible for any man…especially when we ourselves are plagued and ravaged by lustful intentions.

Perhaps rather than fearing such a reality, we ought to embrace it and ask St. Joseph to intercede for us that we also may be most chaste and love women rightly.