One Huge Reason Dads Fail

A man’s core need is to be respected.
A young boy respects his dad immensely.
Boys grow up wanting to be respected by the man they respect the most—dad.
The boy craves his father’s attention and approval.

If a boy is not approved by dad, he becomes a man who starves for respect.

There are three sources of respect:
God, yourself, and others.
Most lean heavily on the third.

If a man does not believe he is approved by God, or if he does not have respect for himself, he will turn to others to fill his need for respect.
By doing so, he can become a slave to human opinion.
(Which is contrary to Jesus’ doctrine and is weak).

Respect is a double-edged sword.
The very blessing of respect becomes his curse.

This often occurs in fatherhood.
A dad lacks self-respect.
He lacks confidence in God.
Nevertheless, he desires to be respected.
His children sense that he is not resolute in his decisions.
He wavers in his use of discipline and authority.

His children test his authority.
They eventually disrespect him.
He feels rejected.

He placates them in hopes of not being rejected further.
Consequently, he loses their respect.

The more a father fears being rejected, the less he will be respected.

Obedience to authority is to respect authority.
As Gregory the Great said, “Obedience is the only virtue that ingrafts the virtues in the soul.”

St. Thomas said that obedience is the most praiseworthy of all the virtues.

Obedience is a matter of justice.
We obey God because we owe God everything.
Our children are to obey us because they are indebted to us.
Disobedience is as devil worship (See 1 Sam 15:32).

If we fathers want our children to become virtuous…and not devils…

If we desire our children’s respect, we must be willing to be rejected by them.
Ironically, the father who demands obedience (with charity) from his children will eventually be respected by them.